Defining Moments

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  Brimming with American nostalgia,  My Wonder Years  will surely resonate with anyone who’s ever struck out on their own to find themselves… https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/my-wonder-years-jeffrey-pipes-guice/1142655646?ean=9798885909082

  He never really knew his father… Left his mother when he was only two… His prospects in life seemed limited… But his mom did the best she could do… His clothes were mostly hand me downs… He lived above his grandpa’s Irish bar… It seemed he was dealt a losing hand… No one expected him to go very far… But he was a pretty nice young fellow… And he made good grades throughout school… No one seemed to notice him that much… And he appeared to be anything but cool… He excelled in both math and science… And he liked history and geography, too… His teachers saw that he had promise… Encouraged him to do the best he could do… While he passed his classes with flying colors… He never really found a good friend… There was one girl that caught his eye… But she never noticed as he was part of the blend… It was at the end of his senior year… When he eventually made his presence known… He mustered up all the nerve he could find… To finally called the girl on the phone… He invited her to his senior...

  Ruth Grace Moulon, known as Ruthie the Duck Lady, was an American woman who was a notable figure in the French Quarter of New Orleans. She was often seen riding from bar to bar on roller skates wearing eccentric furs, drinking Budweiser and smoking Kool cigarettes while accompanied by a couple of ducks. A New Orleans native, she was born Ruth Grace Moulon on Jan. 19, 1934.  As a child, she and her brother raised ducks in their family’s Royal Street apartment. The ducks would follow young Ruthie everywhere, and her family began promoting her as “the Duck Girl” and charging people to take photos with her, as well as selling picture postcards of her image. Ruthie became a French Quarter fixture from the 1950s through the 1990s and was known for her moodiness, either speaking sweetly to passersby or mightily cursing them. She’d hit up friends and strangers for Budweiser beer (“for her duck”) and Kool cigarettes (“for later”). Ruthie became the subject of documentaries and a musi...

The witch’s black cat… Came flying through the air… Should we catch it… Should we dare… Should we just let the cat… Come tumbling down… Should we let the cat roll… Over and over on the ground… And why did this cat… Come flying through the air… Someone had to throw it… Ask the witch, if you really care… I’m not asking the witch… Especially not on Halloween… She turns everyone into pumpkins…. Or have you not seen… So when you see the witch’s cat… Let’s all hope that it’s not dead… And please don’t kick… The pumpkins in the head… © 2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

  You came into my life… At a time when I needed you most… Your friendship was something special… You untied me from the bed post… You knew my heart was broken… I was simply trying to move on… You said it was all going to be alright… You made my sadness finally be gone… We talked late into the evening… You wanted to take it slow… You said everything would be better… If only I would finally let go… You showed me how to be patient… You said my broken heart would mend… You said all I need in my life… Was an honest and caring friend… You held my hand so softly… And then you pulled me near… You knew I needed to be held… Your hugs were so sincere… You made me feel I could trust you… A feeling I hadn’t felt in so long… You told me everything would be alright… That next to you was where I belong… Now we go to church on Sunday… We walk in the park hand to hand… You show me what true love should feel like… Not butterflies in some fairyland… Thank you for being there for me… Thank you for giv...

I love to spend my afternoons… Walking leisurely through the park… I love to feel the fresh air on my face… Listening to music from a robin or a lark… I love to watch the school children… As they feed the ducks and the geese… I love to hold the hand of my girl… So much love and joy and peace… It seems that life is just wonderful… As young mothers stroll in a group… Their babies sleep and all is well… Until I step in a pile of dog poop… There’s only one thing I dislike more… Than running from an aggressive goose… And that’s the sight of some hipster… Too important to pick up his dog’s duce… I don’t want to sound like an old fart… And I don’t want to come across as a nag… But the park is here for everyone to enjoy… So, please, just carry a frickin poop bag… ©  2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

I’m just a butt man… I kinda like ‘em all… I like ‘em big… I like ‘em small… I like ‘em short… I like ‘em tall… I’m just a butt man… I kinda like ‘em all… Pause… I’m just a butt man… I kinda like ‘em all… I like ‘em jiggly… I like ‘em tight… I like ‘em morning… Noon and night… I’m just a butt man… I kinda like ‘em all… Pause… I’m just a butt man… I kinda like ‘em all… I like ‘em young… I like ‘em old… I like ‘em shy… I like ‘em bold… I’m just a butt man… I kinda like ‘em all… ©  2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

When you come to visit New Orleans… Make sure you have a way to leave… Because in da Big Easy we only have one jail… Leaving many families to bereave… Most of the stories you hear are true… But the dead man tells no tale… You might consider yourself lucky… If you are able to spend the night in jail… So if you come visit New Orleans… Make sure you come with a clear head… Because you wanna get back home alive… And not stay here among the dead… Happy Halloween! 👻 🎃 🐈‍⬛  © 2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

This morning I saw a blackbird… Resting in the cool air of Spring… While perched on an iron fence… Searching for something, anything… How long had he been resting… Was it a blackbird, a raven or a crow… Was he a he or was he a she… How in the hell was I supposed to know… What if I was a blackbird… Would I sing in the dead of night… Would I take my broken wings… Have the freedom to take flight… What if I was a raven… And a friend with Edgar Allan Poe… Was McCartney a fan of the poet… How in the hell was I supposed to know… What if I was a crow… Would I take my sunken eyes and learned to see… Would I fly away and be as free as a bird… What are all these crazy questions you’re asking me… Blackbird searching in the light of day… Wondering how the raven and the crow flies… Is it finally time to cut my chains… You were waiting for this moment to arise… ©  2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice Photograph by NOLA Val

Don’t be a meanie… Buy that girl a weenie… I got ‘em six inches fat or twelve inches dat… Come on sweetie, what’s your measure… Don’t be so groggy… Buy that girl a doggie… I got ‘em thick and juicy, just for you Lucy… Come on gorgeous, try a New Orleans treasure… What’s with your demeanor… Buy that girl a wiener… I got ‘em thick and hard, perfect for her backyard… Come on darlin’, what’s your pleasure… © 2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

Do you remember all the fun we had… Partying until the morning light… We would drink and dance the night away… Or until we would get in a fight… It was never really my fault… I just drank a little more than I should… But I guess it happened more than once… And I’d wake up in a strange neighborhood… One time I lost my panties… No idea where they must have been… It’s a wonder I never ended up hurting myself… Considering the predicaments I usually got in… It great you found your husband… And started having all those kids… For me, I’m still out having fun… But too often I end up on the skids… I guess I’ll grow up one day… And start living a wonderful life… Or maybe I’ll just keep drinking myself… Into becoming a drunkard’s wife… We all will find someone who loves us… Though it may not be the original plan… For the meantime I’ll just sit here… And get as drunk as only a bum can… © 2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

  Fly, my son… Spread your wings… See the world, first hand… It’s yours for the taking… If they tell you no… Ask them why not… Better yet… Don’t ask him anything at all… Fly, my son… Spread your wings… You don’t need anyone’s permission… It’s yours for the taking… You have the same rights… We are all truly equal… Don’t for one minute… Think you are less than anyone else… Fly, my son… Spread your wings… Open your mind, your imagination… Control your own destiny… Don’t give them your power… Do your own thing… Be curious… Seek knowledge… Fly, my son… Spread your wings… Fly, my son… © 2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

There are certain times in life… When a woman meets a strong man… She wants nothing more than to feel alive… In that special way that only he can… When the opportunity finally presented itself… She jumped and made him aware… That she wanted to have everything he could possibly offer… As she ran her fingers through his curly hair… She allowed him to totally control her body… Handing over the keys to her feminine power… He touched her in a way so that all of her stars were aligned… Creating the perfect meteor shower… It doesn’t always happen… But when the timing presents itself… Allow yourself to receive all he wants to give… And leave your boy toy on the shelf… © 2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

We’re both alone… The musics playing… Let’s take advantage… I’m just saying… The night is young… The stars are bright… Let’s get together… And dance all night… I’m here for you… Come dance with me… I’ll say it again… Come dance with me… It’s your choice… To stay at home… You could wait all night… For him to call on the phone… But I’m here right now… And I’m ready to dance… Why wait any longer… Let’s take a chance… I’m here for you… Come dance with me… I’ll say it again… Come dance with me… Stop wasting your time… For the phone to ring… Why waste a perfect song… Come do your thing… Let’s make you smile… And have some fun… Why wait for him… He may not be the one… I’m here for you… Come dance with me… I’ll say it again… Come dance with me… © 2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

I’m only nine… But she looks so fine… I wish I had the nerve… To touch that curve… Would it hurt so much… For me to slowly touch… Am I a bad boy… To think of her as my toy… I feel a sudden urge… I just want to surge… What’s all the commotion… To want to rub her with lotion… My tingling boner… Wants to totally own her… Is it a mortal sin… To want to put it in… Would Sister Mary disapprove… If I made my move… Will I go straight to hell… If on top of her I fell… Will my excitement go away… If I start to pray… I’m only nine… But she looks so fine… I wish I had the nerve… To touch that curve… ©  2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

It’s going to be alright… Our government is in charge… We have absolutely nothing to worry about… As long as we keep paying the surcharge… They can’t seem to fix the Covid… They can’t stop the opioid addiction… They can’t solve the rising crime rates… They can’t stop their power grab affliction… They can’t stop the black on black murder… They can’t stop the housing shortage… They can’t stop us from losing jobs to China… They won’t pay my rental property mortgage… It’s going to be alright… Our government is in charge… We have absolutely nothing to worry about… As long as we keep paying the surcharge… They can’t seem to stop teenage suicide… But they support the professional sports plantation… They can’t stop the middle class from going into poverty… They seem bent on ruining our once great nation… They ignore that not all Americans get healthcare… They ignore that our children can’t read… They ignore that our farmers can no longer grow crops… They ignore that our senior citizens are liv...

Lest we forget… When the government said… Climb in the rail cars… Soon you’ll be dead… It’s ok, you can trust us… The government knows what’s best… Go ahead, take the shot… Soon you can rest… Just trust the science… We’re smarter than you… The government won’t discriminate… Whether Christian, Muslim or Jew… So go on and climb aboard… We’ll take care of you now… Go ahead, trust the politicians… It doesn’t matter anyhow… ©  2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

She’s coy but she’s funny And her red hair likes to curl… She sidesteps all my advances… She’s my left-handed girl… She eats her red beans and rice With Tabasco hot sauce… While she knows that I’m enamored I’m letting her be the boss… She has the figure of a dancer… I would love to give her a twirl… She sidesteps all my advances… She’s my left-handed girl… While she doesn’t really try She looks perfect in her clothes… Will she ever fall for a guy like me Time will tell, but who knows… While I know that she’s cautious… Will her butterflies ever unfurl… She sidesteps all my advances She’s my left-handed girl… ©  2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice